Your tits are I can't wait for
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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