I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
