A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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