we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
