it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
