Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
