Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize