When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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