At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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