Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
