When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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