a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
tell your sister to shave her snatch
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
