I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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