I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
