So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
