Buhtt sex?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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