hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize