Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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