And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
