We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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