Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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