It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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