Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I would fuck him just for his dog
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
