Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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