I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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