census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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