do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
