fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
They have beer where we have blood.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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