Are we in a gay sports bar?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize