He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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