We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
