Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
