I'm going to jail i love you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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