Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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