Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
