Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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