Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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