you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
