yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize