somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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