Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
