This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
bring money and cleavage
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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