I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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