Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
