so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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