I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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