wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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