I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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