I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I have vodka in my lungs
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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