For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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