the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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