Pants 0. Shit 1.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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