So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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