DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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