Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And then my night got REAL pukey
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
