Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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