Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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