If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
