I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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