I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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