I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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