I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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