Only a mothe r could love this liver
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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