I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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