Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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