we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
